Patrick Gill 6 Reasons Data Cave Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

December 11, 2012 by · Leave a Comment 

With December 21, 2012 fast approaching, the end-of-days worriers are going to get progressively more fidgety. Well they, and you, needn’t fear if your data is at Data Cave. We’ve got this zombie apocalypse under control. Your data and disaster recovery site (I think zombies count as a disaster) will be safe and sound. Here are 6 reasons why you want to be at Data Cave during a zombie apocalypse.

1. Zombies suck at scaling walls.

Fact: The reanimated have very few skills. The skills they do have involve moving forward (slowly in most cases) and finding food. They don’t have problem solving skills and they aren’t very resourceful. Data Cave has very few windows. This is designed from a security standpoint. The only entry is through steel security doors with card reader access and we rarely hand out cards to the undead. There is no way to get through a window on the ground level. And only in one case have I seen a zombie carrying a ladder…

2. Building in building design.

Fact: Concrete, one inch rebar reinforced walls are fairly strong. In fact, our walls are built to withstand an EF5 tornado. Walkers are a bit less powerful than 200 mile per hour winds. But they wouldn’t have to get through just one wall. No, they would have to demolish two, and in some cases three, to get to your data (and our brains). We’re confident that this won’t happen.

3. Video surveillance

Fact: Zombies usually feast on things that they surprise. If you are prepared for them, the living dead rarely get the jump on you. Since we have security cameras recording nearly every inch of Data Cave, it would be quite unlikely that we wouldn’t see them coming. Remember: the best chance of survival is being prepared. Oh, and having a shotgun and axe might help.

4. Generators

Fact: When it’s dark, it’s hard to see. So in addition to having an always available, always online power system to keep your data in your hands, we get the added bonus of always having lights. This makes it much easier to keep tabs on what is going on outside, or inside, our data center. We know everything that goes on in and around our facility. If we were to lose line power, our generators come on in an instant (or 8 seconds to be exact). Power, internet, security – a comfy, cozy place to wait out the attack. Or fight back…(see below)

5. Location, Location, Location

Fact: Data Cave is remote. Most likely, zombies will look for highly populated areas with a high concentration of huma.. uhhum.. I mean, food. Data Cave is located in Columbus, Indiana on 21 acres of private property. This greatly adds to our security and provides a very large buffer, and possibly zombie-free zone.

6. Humvee.

Fact: We have a Hummer. That is all.


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